speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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