...so i touched it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
