Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
