don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
