yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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