After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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