we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
