8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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