Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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