Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
