why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
