BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
