i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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