Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
