So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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