She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
