it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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