I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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