So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
