Where did you get a picture of my penis
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
