it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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