bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
