I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
