I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
