i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
