I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
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