Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
