idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
