just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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