nut hugger
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
