Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
