Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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