I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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