I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
