I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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