We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
