How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
