I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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