Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need water and some morals
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
