No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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