I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i think my cat just said my name.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
