I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
