He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
