Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
