I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
