Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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