Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
