Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
