I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
