please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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